Self-Esteem

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How you evaluate your self worth affects every facet of your life. This article just happens to centre on how Self Esteem affects our work – whatever you are involved in. first we’ll describe what Self Esteem is and try to find its relationship in your work. Self Esteem is manifested in a wonderful feeling of inner balance, grounded on self acceptance and a healthy, comforting self-respect towards you.

Self Esteem is the feeling of being happy with your character and abilities regardless of other people’s opinion. Your self worth is an underlying factor in determining the level of your Self Esteem. When you feel good about yourself regardless of your situation, your circumstances, opinions and the economy, you practically increase the potentiality of succeeding in any endeavor.

Just about how does Self Esteem affect our work? Now, regardless of whatever activity you’re engaged in, Self Esteem is the difference between success and failure, but more importantly, your attitude of high or low Self Esteem at the beginning of a task, a job, your work determines its outcome more than anything else.

How many times have we enumerated what we’re truly capable of achieving, self confidence tells us we can readily do it, yet either our Self Esteem is not as high taking any action, or we do not get the desired result just as we think we should. We all desire a life of peak performance in our tasks, we shouldn’t waste our lives with low Self Esteem and all the negative effects it has on our success, harmony, well being and work.

Self Esteem can determine the amount of motivation you have towards your work, the momentum you can gather to push forward and the success you so desire from the given task. High Self Esteem can be achieved by believing it is a process, which means it can only be accomplished step-by-step. For a complete insider secret to building and increasing your Self Esteem, visit http://achieveall.blogspot.com/

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Our outlook and attitude on life in general plays a huge part in how happy we are in life and how successful we become. Someone who thinks positively about everything will be more relaxed, calm and smile more than someone who is always looking on the bad side, who lets stress get to them and who constantly wear a frown.

Not only does how you think and feel affect you, it also affects those around you, in short our mood affects our day. Developing and keeping a positive outlook is essential if you wish to lead a positive and fulfilling life.

There are many ways in which you can develop a more positive outlook and begin to change how you think and feel about many situations that you encounter in day-to-day living. Changing your attitude and not slipping back into negative thinking will take time but eventually the new outlook will become second nature. The five main key points to remember when changing your outlook are

1. Turn your way of thinking into positive thinking and practice on a daily basis thinking positively. You should set your mind on completing one task at a time and think only of a positive outcome and how good you will feel when you have completed the task. Never give in to doubt and let yourself believe that you have taken too much on and just keep going.

2. Don’t let your conversations turn negative, when in a conversation it is easy to let others discourage you, particularly if they have a negative outlook on life. Don’t be tempted to fall back into your old ways, turn negative talk into positive and look for the good in everything and any situation.

3. Look for the positive in those around you and point it out, this way you can encourage a positive attitude all around you.

4. Whatever you are doing in your day-to-day life always look for the good in it, although it might be a boring task which you usually hate doing and one which leaves you feeling negatively, try to find something about it that turns it into a more positive situation.

5. Never let yourself become distracted or hoodwinked into going back to negativity, it takes time to change the way you feel and think and if you have been down on yourself and the world for a long time then your new outlook will take a while to register and stay around.

You will find over time that many areas of your life can be changed just by changing your outlook from a negative one to a more positive. You will find that your self-esteem improves, you become more popular, you feel happier and are more confident than before, you are able to tackle the tasks you once hated without them causing you stress and anxiety and your relationships improve. These are just a few of the areas where you can self-improve and gain a more positive outlook and thus lead a more positive life.

Self-Esteem comes from the Latin word which means to Estimate; so Self-Esteem is how you would Estimate yourself.

Self-Esteem effects how you look at yourself in the mirror; feel and talk about yourself, it’s important to know who you are and to value yourself.

Self-Esteem is knowing that you are worth a lot (priceless) but not bragging about how good you are, its how much you value yourself and how important you feel about your achievements, nobody is perfect but knowing that you are worthy of being loved and accepted.

There are a number of people who are confident, when they fall into the public eye, such as politicians, actors, comedians, artists and the like, they seem to glow with assertiveness, some of these individuals, although they are attractive and world famous, they find it hard to value themselves, they feel insecure and they lack in self-esteem.

So what is self-esteem? It is not the same as confidence, that’s for sure!

So self-esteem means;

• To value yourself highly without being pretentious
• To have a positive attitude
• Being confident in what you do
• Liking yourself for who you are
• Be deserving of love and happiness
• Being a good human being and taking criticism as constructive to help you become a better person
• You feel ok in both mind and body

If you suffer from low self-esteem you will struggle to associate the above with yourself, and you will lack self assurance and self respect.Self-Esteem is important in knowing what you can do, be proud of yourself and hold your head up high, it gives you courage to try new things and to believe and respect yourself.

To be low on self-esteem means to not think highly of yourself and to criticize yourself too much, if you have low self-esteem you may not always think good of yourself and you think that you are not important.

Learn More About Self Esteem and Enhancing Your Self Esteem at http://www.enhancingselfesteem.com

Make no mistake about it; overcoming a low self esteem increases your chances of success in life. The career path you choose, or the relationships that you nurture will benefit to some degree when it comes to your level of self esteem. Overcoming a low self esteem can be a long process, but I have five quick tips to get you pointed in the right direction.

1) Learn to love and accept yourself

Overcoming a low self esteem starts from within. It amazes me how many people walk around who are not happy with themselves. They walk around with fake smiles, and when you ask how they are doing they pretty much lie and say everything is ok. The word love is thrown around so freely. When you love someone it means you embrace them to the fullest regardless of who they are or what they have done. It’s kind of love what they call “tough love”. It’s this same type of love that you should have when it comes to yourself. We all fall down. We all make mistakes. That’s a given. The key to overcoming a low self esteem is getting back up once you have fallen. Remember that in order for someone to care for and love you, its only right that you love yourself first.

2) Self-Appreciation

Looking at self-appreciation and acceptance the two are different but they are connected. You can’t have one without the other. As you examine your life, try to highlight the areas that you shine in. Those are the areas that you should try to work at to become stronger. To many times we pick something that we are not capable of accomplishing and we try to work harder at those things. Know your niche. Know what you are good at, and focus your hard work, dedication, and persistence on things that you are familiar with and have a strong foundation in. Have appreciation or better yet praise yourself for those good qualities. Don’t spend time on criticizing yourself for the traits that you lack or are not good at.

3) Never compare yourself to others

As a child growing up, I remember comparing myself to many superstar athletes. I remember fantasizing about wanting to be a certain individual. As I look back on that, those same comparisons tend to follow us as we become adults. Society tends to put expectations on us. How we should look, what we should wear, what we should drive? If you truly have the desire to overcome a low self esteem, you must learn to live your life for you and not try and please others. You must learn to never base you achievements on the accomplishments or goals of others. Set your own goals, follow your own dreams, set your own boundaries, and make your own individual statement. Don’t plagiarize, be the unique individual that your higher power has intended you to be. We all are different. Each of us has something unique to give to the world. Take a stand, be different, and let the winner inside of you come out.

4) Self bashing will kill you

We are all human. Everyone will make a mistake at some point in their life. In fact some will make many more than others. We must remember that when we make mistakes, never beat yourself up. Use the mistake as a learning tool. It should be stored in memory and used to prevent us from making the same mistake in the future. Always remember that we learn from trial and error. Use that to your advantage.

5) Surround yourself with positive people

Overcoming a low self esteem starts with what you see and hear. The things that are presented to you have a lasting effect. The individuals that you surrounded yourself with in the past have shaped you into the person that you are today. If you want to feel good about yourself, why spend time with someone who constantly puts themselves down. If you want to go somewhere in life, why would you spend time with someone who has no goals, dreams, or purpose in life. Surround yourself with positive people. Attend conferences and Network with people that will push and motivate you to do the impossible and accomplish goals. Seek out positive successful people and mimic their behavior.

These are the first five tips in building up a low self esteem. Overcoming a low self esteem is a process that takes time and patience. There will be moments where you feel like there is no change. There will be moments when you feel as if you are wasting your time. There will come a time when you will want to associate with those same individuals that appear to be going nowhere in life. This will be the time when you must stand up, stand out, and persevere. This will be the time when you must hold on and know a brighter day and a brighter future is coming. Yes it will take time, but remember a baby doesn’t learn to walk over night. He has to crawl before he can walk. He must go through the learning curve. He must take his bumps and bruises. Finally when the child has put his time in, he is blessed with the gift to walk. Endure your bumps and bruises and in the end you will be blessed with a more happier and more successful life.

Raymond Grisby writes articles to help individuals overcome a low self esteem. He realizes that a positive attitude can cause you to have an increased level of success in your personal or professional life. Check out his self help guide and free self esteem audio mp3 at: http://www.buildmyesteem.com/overcoming_a_low_self_esteem.html

Are you ready to feel good about yourself? That is the key to health, happiness, fulfilling relationships, and success.

Negative thoughts hurt your self-esteem and positive thoughts help you feel good. To raise your self-esteem, say, sing, or write the following 50 affirmations (positive thoughts) until they become part of your automatic thinking. It is even more powerful if you add your name.

1. I, your name, am okay even when I am scared.

2. I, ____________, am a worthwhile person.

3. I, ____________, am important.

4. I, ____________, am good enough.

5. I, ____________, am okay.

6. I, ____________, am lovable.

7. I, ____________, am attractive.

8. I, ____________, am intelligent.

9. I, ____________, am creative and intuitive.

10. I, ____________, am competent and talented.

11. I, ____________, am a good person.

12. I, ____________, am wanted and I belong.

13. I, ____________, trust my decisions.

14. I, ____________, accept all my feelings.

15. I, ____________, am expressing my feelings in healthy ways.

16. I, ____________, am releasing my anger into a pillow and others and I are safe.

17. I, ____________, forgive myself for all my mistakes.

18. I, ____________, am forgiving others for all their mistakes.

19. I, ____________, am saying “no” and I am okay.

20. I, ____________, am self-caring and I am there for others.

21. I, ____________, am capable of taking care of myself.

22. I, ____________, am taking control of my life and seeing all of my choices.

23. I, ____________, am taking responsibility for my happiness.

24. I, ____________, am communicating honestly and clearly what I want and need.

25. I, ____________, am listening to what others want and creating win-win solutions.

26. I, ____________, am courageously facing the unknown, even though I am scared.

27. I, ____________, am allowing myself an abundance of love and prosperity.

28. I, ____________, see myself attractive, happy, and healthy.

29. I, ____________, am slim and in control of what I eat and drink.

30. I, ____________, am visualizing myself in a successful career.

31. I, ____________, am successful and people are very happy for me.

32. I, ____________, am modeling success for many people and I’m loved and safe.

33. I, ____________, am successful in my career and in my relationships.

34. I, ____________, am more successful than my parents and they love me.

35. I, ____________, am successful, because I want to be.

36. I, ____________, am prosperous and I am a good, honest person.

37. I, ____________, have an abundance of money and people want to be with me because they like me.

38. I, ____________, am successful and I have enough time for my loved ones and myself.

39. I, ____________, am allowing others to support and care about me.

40. I, ____________, am in a loving relationship and I am free to be me.

41. I, ____________, am in a lasting, fulfilling relationship.

42. I, ____________, am taking time to relax and play and I am productive.

43. I, ____________, am doing things effortlessly.

44. I, ____________, am taking total responsibility for my life and I am having fun.

45. I, ____________, am only responsible for my thoughts, feelings, and behavior.

46. I, ____________, like myself.

47. I, ____________, love myself.

48. I, ____________, feel peacefully powerful.

49. I, ____________, am creating what I want in my life.

50. I, ____________, believe that I deserve it all.

You sure do! Go for it!

©2007 Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, is a Marriage, Family Therapist, intuitive counselor, speaker, and author. The article is excerpts from her new book, “ALL YOU NEED IS HART!” She offers phone sessions, teleclasses, books, e-books, MP3 audios, tapes, posters, independent studies, and a free newsletter. http://www.lovetopeace.com, 1-888-639-6390.

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A lot of people think that self-esteem is the same as self-confidence; however it is much more than just self-confidence.

‘Self-Confidence’ could be described as being an ingredient in the ‘Self-Esteem’ recipe.

The word ‘esteem’ shares it’s roots with the word ‘estimate’ meaning ‘to put a value on’.

We can conclude from this that ’self-esteem’, really means ‘the value we put on ourselves’. Hence, someone who has low self-esteem does not value themself very highly.

On the other hand, someone with high self-esteem has a deep rooted sense of self; they like (and sometimes love) themselves; they are in control of their internal state and they act with purpose.

The good news is that anyone can learn to have high self-esteem. It is not something that only the select few are born with

How To Build Self Esteem

Accepting yourself as you are ‘warts and all’ is an excellent place to start to build your self-esteem. Although this may seem easier said than done, it is a vital ingredient in your step forward.Take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror, that’s you!, that’s the way you are, and accepting yourself for what you are will start you on the path to higher self-esteem.

The image you see in the mirror can bring to the fore feelings of frustration, as we look at ourself with an overly critical eye. Sometimes all we can see are the flaws and the things we would like to change. We don’t see all the great things about ourselves as we have hidden them away, even convincing ourselves they don’t exist.

Well, they do exist, so keep looking, take a deep breath and look at yourself as you are and not as you would like to be. Learn to love yourself as you are before you try to change anything.

I know the last sentence seems contradictory, why would we want to change something we just fell in love with? But, the fact of the matter is that too much energy can be wasted wishing you were something you are not and accepting yourself for what you are is the first step to take towards higher self-esteem.

Have you any idea the energy you must use to hide yourself away from the world. What if this energy were channelled toward more positive areas in your life.

The most crucial part of this exercise, is that you must acknowledge first that you are

fine the way you are.

Once you have discovered this self acceptance, you will find the courage and

incentive to delve deeper into personal relationships and a whole new journey will

begin.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=David_Whitworth

You want to raise your self esteem, you know it will help you to lead a happier and more successful life. But low self esteem is like a trap. When you have low self esteem, it’s hard to allow yourself to be happy and to respect your own abilities. Here are 3 ideas for making those first steps that don’t need you to leap over enormous barriers.

1. Start Small. Find one or two areas of your life where you want to raise your self esteem – it could be your work, your relationship with someone, or it could be talking to new business contacts. Start by taking small steps.

If the problem is networking to find new business contacts you could then identify one small action that you could take to get started. Rather than trying to impress a whole group of people at once, you could start by just introducing yourself and letting the conversation continue.

Once you’ve established that this is o.k., congratulate yourself, you’re making progress. Now you’re ready to move on to the next step of contributing to the conversation and eventually to presenting your business.

2. Be Willing to take a risk. One of the most debilitating effects of low self esteem is that you can end up unable to take any risks at all. Evaluate the action that you perceive as risky. Is it really that risky? Do lots of other people do it every day? Use positive self talk to encourage yourself to take the risk.

Once you’ve done what you set out to do evaluate the experience. You will be surprised to find that more often than not you were more successful than you expected to be. Let yourself know that you are capable of coping.

3. Focus on your achievements. Work on your self belief by focusing on what you’ve achieved. If you start looking at the things that you perceive as failures, stop immediately. Reset your thinking and ask yourself what did I learn from that, how can I turn it into something good?

Spend some time at the end of every day reviewing what you’ve achieved during the day. Be honest with yourself, you have achieved something every day. Don’t worry if it’s only a tiny step, you’re moving in the right direction.

Always remember you can break free of low self esteem. Seeking external help can make a difference, but there are many things that you can do for yourself. If you apply the ideas in this article every day, you will start to notice your self esteem growing day by day.

Would you like to learn more about the six pillars of self esteem?

Get the free e-book Secrets of a Millionaire Mindset . Visit my website for more resources, articles, and support materials about success and personal growth .

Kevin John has spent many years helping businesses owners, aspiring business owners, and private individuals to develop the understanding and skills needed to achieve the success that they want.

The six pillars of self esteem are a vital key to success. Self acceptance is one the six pillars of self esteem. If you don’t have a good level of self esteem and self acceptance then you will find that being successful is more difficult. Your interactions with people will not produce the results you want, you will suffer from poor motivation and you will drift from day to day running the risk of not facing up to reality.

The six pillars of self esteem include facing up to facts, being willing to stand up for ourselves, having a purpose, having integrity, and being responsible for our own actions.

The last of the six pillars of self esteem is self acceptance – being willing to experience who we are even if we don’t like what we see. Only a person with high self esteem can accept themselves for who they truly are. If you want personal growth and personal success, you will need to be able to accept yourself as you are.

A failure of self acceptance will cost you dearly

Being unwilling to accept yourself for what you really are can lead you to wasting enormous amounts of time and energy trying to be something you are not. In the long run this effort is usually wasted as you true self come shining through –warts and all!

While you are busy rejecting our true self, you are increasing our levels of unhappiness, stress and anxiety. If you have severe difficulty in accepting yourself, the mental consequences can be very serious indeed.

How to accept yourself?

Of the six pillars of self esteem, self acceptance is the one that is most closely associated with our past conditioning and it is most deeply rooted in our very core. Improving your levels of self acceptance can take time and patience, however the rewards in terms of personal growth and personal success are very worthwhile.

Very often we have the most difficulty accepting our own faults – we seem them as massive mountains, when if we could see ourselves as other see us, they would just be tiny molehills. So one thing to do is to get the opinions of people who you trust to be honest with you and who you know will help you.

On the flip side, if you are person who does not have the six pillars of self esteem firmly embedded in your makeup, it is very common to overlook many of your positive qualities in favour of beating yourself up about your weaknesses. Find some time to sit down quietly and think about the successes you’ve had throughout your life. Identify and write down all the positive qualities that have led to those successes.

Think about people you know well enough to recognise their good and bad sides. That should help you to realise that no one’s perfect. If everyone were perfect, the world would be a very uninteresting place. You need some imperfections to highlight your best qualities

Provided you faults don’t lead you to be dishonest, immoral, or cause harm to other people, accept that there’s nothing wrong with them.

Where your faults have led you to make mistakes, don’t beat yourself up endlessly for your perceived failure. Understand that there’s no such thing as failure or mistakes, they are just learning experiences. If you can use them to move forward you will be much better off.

Finally try at all times to make sure that all your actions are aligned with universal principles such as love, mutual respect, honesty, integrity… that way you don’t have anything to feel bad about.

Working on the six pillars of self esteem, which includes working on accepting yourself for what you are, both the good and the not so good is important for you to live a happy and fulfilled live, achieving personal growth and personal success. There are many keys to success that let you come to terms with yourself as you are. You can find out more about the six pillars of self esteem .

You can get a free e-course the success principle . Visit my website for more resources, articles, and support materials about success and personal growth .

Kevin John has spent many years helping businesses owners, aspiring business owners, and private individuals to develop the understanding and skills needed to achieve the success that they want.

How would you recognise self esteem in someone else? What does self esteem look like? Understanding how self esteem manifests itself in your behaviours can help you to evaluate your own self esteem and work out where you might need to improve.

When you understand the behaviour of a person with true self esteem rather than false self esteem hiding a deep inner insecurity you will realise that the qualities of self esteem are positive and supportive of mutually beneficial relationships.

The face of self esteem

Someone with high self esteem is really enjoying their life, they take pleasure in being alive and they radiate this joy. After all, they are confident that they deserve to enjoy being alive and they can cope adequately with everything that life throws at them.

If you have high self esteem you will be able to talk about your achievements and successes and also you will be able to easily admit mistakes and failures. You are comfortable with the facts of your circumstances and you know that mistakes and failures are things that happen. You will know that you are not a mistake or a failure.

High self esteem means that you do not need to be defensive when someone criticises you. You can evaluate the criticism in a rational way and decide whether it is just or unjust before responding. When you have high self esteem you are able to learn from past events without the need to distort what happened to protect your self esteem.

If you have high self esteem, you are not at war with yourself internally. Your speech and your movements are free, flowing and spontaneous, reflecting the ease that you feel with yourself.

All your communications with the outside world are consistent with each other. Your words, your tone of voice, your body language and your actions all tell the same story. You have no need to disguise or try to repress anything which means that your non-verbal communications match your verbal communications.

You are not afraid to assert yourself when you need to and you are not initmidated by assertive behaviour in others. You need to distinguish assertive behaviour from aggression. Assertive behavious can be characterised as seeking a win-win results whereas aggressive behaviour is seeking a win-loose result.

High self esteem means that you have the internal security to be curious and explore new ideas, new places, meet new people and form new relationships easily. You can be open to new possibilities and new ideas and you will respond to challenges with flexibility and confidence.

Of course even if you have high self esteem, you will have times when you feel self doubt, intimidation or overwhelm. You are not superman and you will encounter circumstances that you simply can’t cope with. However, with high self esteem you will be able to accept these feelings and deal with them with dignity. You are more likely to rise above them and as a consequence, such negative feelings will not trouble you for too long.

High self esteem is an important part of a successful and fulfilled life. High self esteem frees you to exhibit positive behaviours that reinforce mutually beneficial relationships. Learn the tell-tale signs of high self esteem and use them as a model to aspire to on your journey to a more fulfilling life.

Would you like to learn more about the six pillars of self esteem?

You can get a free e-course the success principle. Visit my website for more resources, articles, and support materials about success and personal growth.

Kevin John has spent many years helping businesses owners, aspiring business owners, and private individuals to develop the understanding and skills needed to achieve the success that they want.

The truth is, self esteem is a mental fabrication. It has no objective existence of its own like might a part of the body or something in the natural environment. We can all agree on a person’s height, weight or even how fast he or she can walk a mile. But, there is no way to measure self esteem that is objective or standardized. That’s actually a good thing because it means any person can make self esteem to be what they choose. But, therein lies the problem as well.

We might think a person who is successful in business, productive and wealthy, has “high” self esteem. Yet, that may not be the case. In fact, it may be that their success is a way of compensating for “low” self esteem. Those who strive for superiority, and may in some ways achieve it, can be attempting to overcome feelings of inferiority. Or, imagine a student who gets straight A’s year after year. Does that indicate high self esteem? Or, does it indicate fear of punishment? Or, does it indicate competitiveness? On the other hand, we might envision a mother of five children, barely able to make ends meet and who yet is happy and relatively unburdened by the amount of stressors in her environment. How does one gauge her self esteem?

Self esteem cannot be gauged by the outer conditions of our situations or circumstances. It can be determined, in part, by how we interact with and respond to our situations and circumstances. Generally, we can say that a person with high self esteem is

* Understanding and supportive of others
* willing to listen to others
* a generous giver
* eager to learn new information
* able to change beliefs and behaviors based on new knowledge

Low self esteem can generally be characterized as

* Overbearing and demanding towards others
* self absorbed and small minded
* a stingy taker
* frightened of risk and challenges
* resistant to change and growth.

Why is this so? Because the higher one’s self esteem, the less dependent one is on any given external structure which might define the self. Low self esteem is based almost entirely on external structures such as rules and regulations, codes of behavior, rewards and punishments. As such, external structures, including other people, can threaten the self, limit the self, manipulate the self and even damage the self. Individuals with low self esteem believe they can “win” by overpowering external structures as opposed to cooperating with external structures. Our western culture’s dominance over the external natural world, in contrast to indigenous cultures which are symbiotically cooperative, suggests our western culture has a low opinion of itself. Even the remarkable technological advances put forth by western civilization is not in itself evidence of a high collective cultural self esteem and can be viewed as a way of compensating for a variety of social deficits including slavery, racism, bigotry, prejudice and corruption. The history of brutality and violence exhibited in western society is certainly indicative of low cultural self esteem as it is excessively overbearing, to say the least.

What we often refer to as high self esteem comes about by understanding that the self is not dependent on the external world of people, places and things for its status. Self esteem is something which exists within one’s own mind and something which can be enriched and enhanced or degraded and demeaned only by one’s own mind. As such, there is no reason to fear external structures such as rules and regulations, new information, strange beliefs, different cultures and certainly people with different colored skin. All such external objects have no real bearing on the self other than what the mind gives it. High self esteem comes from a mind that knows the self to be essentially fluid, malleable and flexible which is required for growth and development. The self is understood to be a process, not a static entity. By way of analogy, consider the self to be like water. It can be solid, liquid or gas. The solid state of water, as in ice, is the self when awake. The liquid is the self when dreaming and the gas when asleep. But, even ice can change its shape. It can be melted and reshaped without losing any of its quality or quantity.

Many modern teachers will suggest a variety of exercises in affirmative positive thinking to build self esteem. Although positive, constructive thinking has it’s place and can be a part of building self esteem, all the positive thinking in the world will be for nothing until one believes, knows, that the self, no matter how frozen, can be reshaped without fear of losing the self. The very first step towards changing self esteem, or changing any aspect of the self, is the realization of its adaptable, pliable nature and its underlying reality as a mental fabrication. Neuroscientists refer to this capacity of mental adaptability as “plasticity.” And, ultimately, since the self is a mental fabrication, it arises out of a vast array of neural interconnections in the brain, which has this capacity of plasticity. Once this solvent nature of the mind is fully accepted, then positive, constructive thinking can be effective. But, positive thinking alone is not enough. There must also be heat to melt the old frozen lower level self esteem models and a new mold in which to shape the new higher level self esteem beliefs. It is said that new wine must be put into new wine skin. Positive thoughts must be contained within a new belief system which understands the self to be a fabrication of its own making – what one might call a framework of “self-responsibility.”

Ken Fields is owner and principle counselor at Open Mind Counseling, http://www.openmindcounseling.com He is a nationally certified licensed mental health counselor with over 25 years of experience in working with individuals, couples, families and groups. He has been a crisis intervention counselor, has taught at university and has been an administrator in a human service agency. He has taught public classes in stress and anger management, mediation, communication and negotiation, self image psychology, motivation and goal setting and crisis prevention. Mr. Fields now offers online communication coaching and counseling specializing in cognitive behavior and family systems therapy.